Archive for December, 2011

fuck

Posted: December 31, 2011 in hidden admonishment
Tags:

I’m unhappy.
It’s weird that I hoped that you could help me.
You did help for a little while
and then you left for a really long time.
Maybe you changed your mind while you were gone.

I guess that’s okay.

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shower stalls

Posted: December 30, 2011 in transliteration

You treated me like a hobby problem worth conquest
like those really shitty teen movies
where all men are assholes and write all the girls up on a fuck list
with points

or

you treated me like cheap, low-brow entertainment
like those really shitty Hallmark made-for-TV after school special tear jerkers
about peer pressure or the exploitation of retards.

Do you understand what I’m saying? Your greatest motivation when interacting with me was simple corruption, but I didn’t hold that against you. I didn’t really care, because you held no influence.

Upon reflection, it would have been nice to grow up with decent friends, but…you weren’t one of the few that momentarily had me convinced. I remember you as the sad, fucked up bitch that lost my keys.

That bothers me more than anything.
I lost my keys that night.
I never got them back, and it was your fault.
That’s why I remember you.

You were the third of dozens of people I’ve met since childhood
who got your kicks from casual sex with an audience present.
Let me rephrase that, because I’m not sure what I just wrote is accurate.

You were the third person to successfully employ me as your audience for a sex show.

You pulled me out of my world
with no way to return without your assistance
because we were miles away from anywhere I’d ever been
or knew.
Even if I had managed to call a third party for assistance, I honestly had no idea where you took me.

Kudos.

Where are my keys?

Need a workout laugh.

Posted: December 24, 2011 in hidden admonishment

Your Welcome.

Craigslist

Posted: December 23, 2011 in otiose

I visit the Craigslist Missed Connections board when I need to cheer myself up.

I am not the only pathetic creature prone to maudlin sputterings of absolutely trite and useless sentiments. Sometimes, it helps to remind myself.

Eventually, I won’t have to take my frustration out on strangers.

Accumulation of Things

Posted: December 23, 2011 in otiose

Things that I used to collect and have since discarded:

stuffed animals (probably the first thing I started collecting)
sporks
dragon figurines
broken wrist watches
cardboard
candles
costume jewelery
trolls
kool-aid points
leaves
fancy soaps
stickers
loose change gathered from the ground kept separate from all other change (five years)
buttons
puzzles
erasers
socks
educational pamphlets
letters
hair combs
makeup
pillows

Things that I used to collect and still have in some portion or entirety:

milkweed silk (four years–forced to stop because it doesn’t grow here)
missing persons mail blow-ins (five years)
nail polish
house plants (lost almost all of them through various moves)
wasp paper
pens
novelty lights (like lava lamps–I used to have a lot of lava lamps)
alligator paraphernalia
porn
homework assignments
rulers/measuring tape
yarn/twine/string/cord but not rope
popsicle sticks
magazines
legos
beach glass
instruction manuals (I have finally convinced myself to stop collecting these recently.)
hats

Things that I used to collect actively, have kept and still add to occasionally:

rocks
crayons
maps
artwork from people I have met
chocolate wrappers/packaging
ribbon
beads
paint
different types of glue (There have to be over 50 specialty glues in the other room.)

Things that I have been collecting for over a decade:

shiny paper
insects
paper billing statements
books (Although I lost almost all of them about four years ago, the collection now makes up about half of the bulk I move each time I relocate.)
glitter
glass jars
feathers
snake skins
shells
foreign currency

interesting timing

Posted: December 22, 2011 in hidden admonishment

My mitten clips are both accounted for and in the same place for the first time in…five years.


 


 


 


Alas, I currently live in winter t-shirt weather.

While you were sleeping…

Posted: December 18, 2011 in otiose


 


your skin peeled back.
You woke up to ask me what the fuck I was doing.
What the fuck is this?

In a better world, you would have slept and let me sleep.