Archive for December, 2015

Fuck 2015

Posted: December 30, 2015 in hidden admonishment

I know it’s not your fault that some fucking kid backed into you and filed a hit and run claim against you that took half the year and several grand to dismiss.  I’m the one who was rude to the cop who harassed me out of his jurisdiction.  I demanded the lawyer.  I made you go to court.  You wouldn’t have even been there if I hadn’t asked you to fix the P-trap on the sink.

I know it’s not your fault that a month later, you were run down on our street with five witnesses, none of which had the sense to get a plate number.  It cost $8000 with your insurance.  You lost a month of work, opted not to have surgery, and you’re still not even close to 100%.  I had to keep my second job for a year longer than I wanted to have to work it.  I’m still dealing with the hospital payment plans, and I fucking hate dealing with the bills.  I know you give me money, but I fucking hate it.

It’s not your fault I’m still paying on back taxes from the past two years and will have to pay the shared responsibility tax this year for making this a legal decision instead of a personal choice.  I proposed to you.  I don’t have insurance.  I don’t make as much as you.  I filled out the W-4s and 1040s.  I fucking hate paperwork and money.

It’s not your fault our house is being held together by black mold, or that the cockroaches from next door are trying to get a foothold here after the drug addled commune got evicted.  Neither of us wants to live here, and I don’t care if you want to drink that reality away.  Just fucking keep it at home.

It is your fault my crayfish is dead, so fuck you for that one.  That was undeniably, pointlessly, and completely your fucking fault.

I’ll only apologize for my parasomnias and the corresponding scar on your back, but I don’t know how to control that shit.


Posted: December 11, 2015 in hidden admonishment

My everyday life is a pain in the ass, but I’ve finally exceeded the pay rate I left behind when I moved.

This means I can quit my second job and piece together my neglected personal life.

I no longer have to eat shit every morning, because I’m the boss.  There is already significantly less anger and frustration to displace.  It has been a very long year spent waiting for this opportunity.

A very long year.

I find it irritating that you sneak back into my thoughts as I try to refocus.