Archive for February, 2016

The Common Cold

Posted: February 24, 2016 in hidden admonishment

I sleep a lot and want to be left alone, but I’m an adult with legitimate obligations both at work and at home.
I neglect what I can, so the dishes and the laundry pile up, and I live in a house without heat.

I still feed the dog, and the dragon, and the bird, and sometimes the boy
but most of the time, I just want to be left alone.

Maybe part of it is that I dropped the job where I could just put my head down and work alone all day
but if I’m honest with myself, I haven’t had that job for years
because training others doesn’t allow for that level of solitude
and I’ve been fucking training others to do shit I really don’t care much about for…

five years.

At least I’m being paid better for my managerial tasks now, and I don’t have to deal with my former boss anymore.

It’s not really any singular thing that’s causing me problems.
It’s not even the conglomeration of all my problems that’s fucking me up.

It would help to have better support, but honestly…I don’t know what to ask for in that regard.
Distractions are nice
until they’re not.

I moved to be alone.
I like being alone.

Happy Birthday, Mom. Sorry your day always hits on the lowest point in my brain disease cycle.