Posts Tagged ‘imaminorlark’

imaminorlark

Posted: March 22, 2012 in hidden admonishment
Tags: , , ,

I’ve been dredging through the past
dragging things out to kill them.
Slipping up and muddling the lines
set.
If I can forget the mapping of the night sky
I can lose anything.

Keys.

I want to go home, which is an odd sentiment
indicating to me that no such place exists yet
still
Everything is maddeningly still.
Living wrapped up warm inside your voice
is no longer an option.

Can I please stop caring soon?

I remember unpleasant things
bringing my dry cheek to the cool floor of the kitchen
staring into the dusty shadows under the cabinets
until the cat silently pads up to my face

inquiring about dinner.

You dye your hair, because you’re ashamed of getting older.
The past you share is active and cherished.

I’m always the same age.

Every factoid you glean, you turn in your hand as if it’s interesting.
My life is interesting.
I am interesting.

To you.

Do you know who you are?
Look down on me in disgust, but don’t pity me.
I chose the floor.

Look down on me, so that I don’t have to look up to you.

I should apologize to a lot of people that I don’t like,
because they never did anything to me.

Would anyone believe me?

I don’t know what happened.
I can frame it up a thousands different ways, but it’s never right.
Anyone that can accept me should be good enough
and better than expected.

I must be lying.

Don’t look at me at all.
Shake a flower to find a bird; I’m neither.
I’ve abandoned my roots and have no nest.
You look at me like you’re attracted to the idea of helping me,
but the track marks trail off, burning.

I’m not a damsel in distress.

You moved on before I lost you
or
the truth…

It sounds so absolute and beautiful, but I’d rather face plant into the floor than admit it.
Anagrams don’t alter the core, and I can’t run from the things I try to discard.
I just wanted you to hold me.
I’m so sorry.
Cats don’t care whether cheeks are wet or dry.

They just want dinner.

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