Yeah, okay.

Posted: May 9, 2014 in hidden admonishment

There’s nothing quite like waking up at 6:30 to a phone call wondering if it’s morning light or evening glaring in the southern exposure.
Cover for me…without enough notice to wash the vomit out of my hair. Yes, this is the professional edge everybody needs.

On lunch, major transgressions from the night before surface, stare me down, and offer up a dull, empty lack of feeling.
I really thought I’d passed these past…what is this shit anyway?

I know what it is.
I know exactly what the fuck it is.

Fishing around in old wounds looking for a reason not to make an emotional commitment.

Yeah, I still drag the shit around with me that hurts the most, but I really did foolishly think I’d successfully quarantined certain thought patterns that trigger bad habits.

Turns out I don’t trust you, so I fold back into what I know; missteps in trust. Personally historic events illustrating why I shouldn’t invest in unknown variables.

I like knowing that I can still walk away from this and look at it as nothing more than a good time, but that’s not fair, is it?

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