I don’t remember anything.

Posted: June 2, 2013 in hidden admonishment

The photos from when you came out are tucked away on this hard drive
buried four times over under false headings and hidden files.

I thought I deleted them, but I went through the trouble of transferring them multiple times.
Four times.

It’s not true that I don’t remember. It’s not even true that I don’t want to remember.
I don’t want to admit to myself what I did to you, and I’ve never dealt with it.
Here I am instead, ruining someone else’s life.

We threw pennies into the river from the bridge on Capitol.

I went back alone over a year later searching for them, so I could hold something real…just to convince myself of something real.

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