Go away, little girl.

Posted: November 10, 2012 in otiose

Yeti’s Jersey girlfriend has some sort of cat fight complex. She seems to be convinced that I’m a sexual rival here to steal her boyfriend.

Kid, I promise, I have no interest in your fast food devouring, seven foot, hairy monster. By all means, have all the vanilla sex punctuated with, “Oh shit,” and hoard all that shitty lovey-dovey “music” he plays for yourself.

I just say hello to be civil where I live. I folded his underwear because he left it in the washing machine, and I didn’t notice until I took my clothes out of the dryer. What was I supposed to do with it? I have no use for boxer briefs. And yes…I’m openly curious as to what kind of creature doesn’t even poke his head out of his door if he’s home when the water heater explodes. What if he had been the only one home? Hey, mister I’m a genius computer science musician, I have a college degree, too. The difference between you and me is that I give a shit when the front door is left wide open or there’s an inch of water covering the entire hallway floor.

Keep him.

Leave me out of it.

I just live here, and by the way, I moved in first.

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