patrick

Posted: September 3, 2012 in hidden admonishment

I don’t know how to get rid of Patrick, but I don’t want him around
stealing glances down my shirt
and trying to set something up two months in advance.

I feign niceness.

I do everything advice columnists tell me not to do
and dig my hole deeper.

It’s okay. I can still hit him with the shovel and use his body to climb out.

Patrick has brought about something despite himself.

Resignation; the concession that I was, indeed, delusional the entire time I wanted you to care about me.

The
whole
time.

and nearly three years after…

It appears in retrospect, that I have been very sick for a very long time.
It doesn’t change everything.
It actually doesn’t change anything outside of how I reinterpret the past.

I’m starting to get it now, but I’ve got this new
very real
problem now
and his name is Patrick.

Make him go away.

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