not on the list

Posted: June 18, 2012 in otiose

I once made a list of some of the things I like most about life
including only things that can be easily enjoyed for absolutely no money.
I made this list for a guy that complained that I didn’t like anything.

Then he complained that the list was too long.

He said I was never happy
but that if I did certain things, I’d be happy.
I believe they were things that would have made him happy with me
while detracting from my overall possibilities for happiness
even though he was adamant that he was already happy
and while I will admit that I am not a naturally happy person
for the most part
I am just fine with whatever current state of unhappy I am

for the most part.

He constantly told me not to complain about my poverty
although I did very little complaining.
I merely stated that I could not afford to do a great many things
and that statement is entirely true.

Only regarding a few points, do I lament my poverty.
Namely, I can’t afford to pay someone else to teach me Calculus
and I’m not sure if my frustration with this is in the lack of money
or more likely
a simple frustration with my own lack of aptitude to handle it skillfully
on my own.

Eventually I responded, because all of these assessments were starting to weigh heavy.
I told him that he was full of shit
and that he would make me happy by shutting the fuck up.

Of course, he didn’t listen.

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