bound

Posted: June 17, 2012 in hidden admonishment

We took two very different paths, and while I stand two years shy of where you are now
I’ll never get there.
Maybe due to something as simple as hardline reciprocity rules.

There was one fleeting moment when I honestly wanted what you have amassed for yourself.
There was also a brief period when everyone thought I would surpass you.

You say this is because I didn’t sell my soul
that I’m lucky
because I have no obligations.

I say nothing.

You will always think you understand me, and I will always look to you in agonizing confusion.
I don’t want to see you.
I don’t ever want to see you, and I’m uncomfortable talking to you

and I’m unhappy
compounded
because I can’t express any unhappiness
without appearing childish and narcissistic.

I will come to terms…
I will meet your terms.
I’ll do what you ask and come when you call

but I can’t fix this.
I don’t even want to try anymore.

This is going to be the last time.

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