Posted: May 28, 2012 in otiose

Sn…eaked out of house to avoid housemates’ invitation to cookout.
Tried to sleep at a rest stop for four broken hours Sunday morning.
Woke up surrounded by motorcyclists talking merrily about how I must have had a wild night.
Got into a fight with some spoiled rich kids on top of a mountain at dawn.
Took a shit in the middle of the trail for them on my way down.
Stumbled into the strangest town ever filled with almost nothing but affluent gingers and blondes.
Locked myself out of my car on top of a different mountain…keys and phone laughing at me through the window.
Hitched a ride with drunks to a ranger station. Thought I was going to die with every drunken mountain corner.
Had a mini-meltdown.
Kissed a very scrawny seasonal maintenance worker that found me a locksmith.
Tipped the tow truck driver 20% for scratching my car and showing ass crack.
Decided I’d had enough of the mountains and started towards home.
Got sleepy. Afraid of dying. Pulled into an overlook parking lot. Tried to take a nap.
Interrupted by more spoiled rich kids…and then more potbellied bikers.
Drove home with absolute dickwads “sharing” the road.
Had to make smalltalk with my stupid housemates.
Couldn’t sleep.
Came online to stalkerish emails from somebody I fucked around with a flippin’ year ago.

Hate everything.
Need a bath.
Never, ever doing anything on a “holiday” weekend again.


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