breaking it down from an internal perspective

Posted: March 22, 2012 in otiose
Tags: ,

Here are the top ten reasons why we will never get along:

1. I know what I want, like what I have, and I’m an uncompromising bitch when it comes to conforming to outside ideals. I don’t think I’m better than you, but that doesn’t mean I have to like or respect you either. The two lines of thought are mutually exclusive.
2. My mood changes with high intensity at low intervals, and I do not consider this a hindrance or flaw.
3. I have no tolerance for your hackneyed, unsolicited, or otherwise nonsequitur guess work, and all opinions are not equal.
4. Talking is superfluous and uninteresting under most circumstances, and any situations where it’s deemed necessary should be minimal.
5. You cannot find me via Facebook, you cannot text me, and I will not respond to you at all unless there’s a legitimate reason…or I’m being reimbursed to pretend I give a fuck.
6. My sleeping and eating habits are cyclical, extreme, and erratic. When in close proximity to me for any length of time, this will cause problems.
7. I never go out for the fun of it, and I will not feign having a good time if coerced into a social outing.
8. I won’t invite you in, and if you invite me in, there’s a good chance I’ll decline. If I do accept your invitation once, don’t expect me to accept it a second time.
For a good time, leave expectations at the door.
9. Social etiquette is nothing but condescending pandering in an egocentric daisychain. I will accidentally, but repeatedly, say the wrong thing, mean it, and stick by it. If I’m wrong by my own standards, I will apologize and take the oversight as a personal failing. If you say the wrong thing, I will generally and genuinely overreact in an inconsistent fashion.
10. I’m an openly unhappy individual with emotional baggage, flaws, scars, dirty misconceptions, and an established but unrealistic personal code of ethics. I’m not looking for someone else to make me happy, fix me, or complete my fantasies. I am whole; ugly, jaded, worn, constantly changing and full of contradictions, but whole.

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