boxes

Posted: February 27, 2012 in transliteration

I’ve been slightly negligent regarding my mental health.
There are all sorts of quasi-legitimate excuses I could make for myself,
but
for the most part, I just don’t care that much about my own well being.

It’s something that I struggle with constantly, and I openly resent how much energy it takes
to try to give a shit about myself with any semblance of regularity.

This is why I get into situations where I’m completely willing to leave my job in a fit of rage
with no solid justification
much less backup employment.
I also move frequently, and just as frequently, at the drop of a hat.

I’m currently in the midst of such a move, and almost all of my belongings are once again
packed away in boxes.

When pushing these relatively superficial
yet overbearingly time consuming necessities of life aside
that insure that the minimum scaffolding required is set in place
so that I can meet basic needs…

I actually allow myself a few minutes here and there to enjoy existence.

So, in addition to packing,
searching for a new day job,
truncating the night job,
and making sure that my bird, fish and plants have what they need in order to at least appear happy,
I have been combating the worst bout of insomnia I’ve run up against in years of chronic sleeplessness.

But, I’ve managed to whittle out a little place in my mind where I feel okay by flat out ignoring…myself.

Now.

If I could just get some sleep.

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