Posted: February 21, 2012 in hidden admonishment

I see you sometimes
while wide awake
sober
up close
clear as day.

I have to hide this from everyone, because I know that it’s not you, it’s not normal, and it’s not okay.
I know what it means.

I have to find the strength to push this away, because it’s not real.

Please, let me sleep.
Please go away.

I thought I’d unified in this decision to self-destruct.
I love you, but you can’t stay.

I know that I lost this a long time ago.
It’s gone.
Let it go.

Leave me alone.

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