do you have any idea how ignorant you sound?

Posted: December 14, 2010 in transliteration
Tags: , , ,

Earlier, he spoke of artists
critiquing the look of an older woman on his TV
sans makeup.

He said she was “fucked up” on something.
Definitely.
I didn’t know who she was
some vague figurehead for a world
I despise
where transferred signatures on silk
are worth more than my entire existence.

He said he preferred his artists a little off.
I thought about how I’m…a little off.
All good artists, he said, are a little off.
I stirred my cup of hot water quietly.
I am not an artist today.

He cited Van Gogh, and I stopped listening.

Later, I came down where they sat in the same places
in front of the TV
this time, I heard Hitler giving a speech
and felt dizzy
sick
and ready to pass out.

This is because I’m working full shifts with a fever
but I also felt like I’d stepped back a decade in my own life
when curiosity assuaged revulsion to some extent.

I stirred my cup of hot water
while I listened to them critique.
“That wasn’t even a good speech.”

I padded quietly back up to my little sick bed
that is nothing more than a huddle of blankets on the floor near the vent
forced air heat
wondering

Do you have any idea how ignorant you sound
all the goddamned time?

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