fuck

Posted: November 21, 2010 in transliteration
Tags: , ,

I want to talk to you today, but I can’t allow myself to pretend you’d answer or care.
Care enough to answer?
You said you cared.
You put this idea into my head that it’s not even you that I want to talk to.

I guess I just want to talk to myself, so here I am.

I think about coming to see you sometimes
even though I can’t afford to make the trip.
I might have yet another job soon so that the option becomes real.

Dangerous.

I’m even willing to manage and supervise to get there
just for you to reject me and ignore me and tell me I’m delusional again.
I’m still quite convinced that my thoughts
are
reality
rather than the distortions as you always insisted upon classifying them
and me.

Granted, I’m very likely wrong, as I usually tend to be.

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